A guide to keeping kids safe - Dad's Edition

A Guide to Keeping Kids Safe – Dad’s Edition
(Protection through prevention, not just reaction)

For generations, the role of “protector” has been stamped into what it means to be a dad. You stand at the gate, watching for danger, ready to fight if someone hurts your child.

But here’s the thing - if your only version of protection is reacting after harm has happened, you’ve already missed the mark and haven't protected your kids. 

Some of us didn’t have fathers who showed us another way. We didn’t see boundaries modelled in healthy ways. We weren’t taught to have open conversations about feelings or safety. We learned to be silent, to tough it out, or to bury things that hurt.

When I was interviewing adult survivors who had been abused in their childhoods, I would often hear, "I didn't tell him (dad) because I thought he would end up in jail after he bashed or killed them (offender)"  or "He would have flipped out and I didn't want him to blame me". 

The truth is - NOT being the person your child can come to when they need help and support, is they stay trapped and in harm's way longer. 

As dads, you’ve got a choice: keep repeating what you were shown, or lead differently.

This is about protecting your kids before they’re hurt. It’s about being the dad they know they can come to without fear, without hesitation, so you never have to pick up the pieces afterwards.

1. Rethink “protector” - from reaction to prevention

It’s natural to want to go full Hulk-mode if someone harms your child. But when you tell them, “If anyone ever touches you, I’ll kill them”, you’re actually making it harder for them to tell you if something happens. They’re thinking:

“If I tell Dad, he’ll lose it. He might get hurt. I might lose him.”

Real protection starts with creating a safe space where your child knows they’ll be heard and believed,  without the fear of YOUR reaction causing more harm.

I can honestly say that what YOU do and say in front of your kids matters. So be really careful how you model protection to your children. Be sure that a flippant or 'off the cuff' comment doesn't stop them from coming to you for help and safety. 

And before you say, 'Kristi, they know they can come to me'. Do they really? Have you told them this yet? Kids will often protect parents, as much as parents try to protect their kids. 

Say this instead: “If anyone ever makes you feel unsafe or uncomfortable, I will always listen, believe you, and help keep you safe - no matter what.”

2. Step up in the body safety conversations

Body safety education isn’t “mum’s department.” Your presence matters.

I recently ran a survey on my social media about who does the body safety talks in their home. Under 5% reported that dad's were helping in these conversations.

Body safety is a prevention tool that protects kids. When you leave it to mum's and schools (because it feels awkward or uncomfortable), you are missing a vital piece of the puzzle and leaving the protection to everyone else! 

Here is some ways you can get involved:

• At night times when you are putting your kids to bed, read body safety books together about safe and unsafe touch, tricky and unsafe behaviours and early warning signs. I have a list of book in a previous blog to help you get started. 

• Make it part of bath time, bedtime, or the drive to school. Use teachable moments in your every day to have conversations about private and public parts and body safety rules. Repetition is the key. 

• Normalise talking about body safety so it’s not a “big scary talk” - it’s just part of life and Dad is one of the safe people they can come to if or when they need to. 

When you show up for these conversations, you’re not just giving your child information you’re telling them, I’m here, I care, and I’m a safe place for you.

3. Model consent in the everyday

Wrestling, tickling, or roughhousing? Fun -  until someone says “no, stop” or starts crying. 

Dad's - when your child says stop, STOP immediately.

It doesn't mean the fun is over, it just means we do a check-in before play resumes or you move onto something else 

Ask before touching: “Do you want a hug?” or “Can I tickle you?” and validate their consent with a ''Thanks for letting me know you want to stop". 

These moments teach them that their boundaries matter and that they should expect others to respect them too.

Abusers use games to normalise abuse and if their own 'safe' adult aka Dad isn't listening or respecting their consent, than how will they know if someone is displaying tricky and unsafe behaviours. 

What we allow, becomes the norm. 

4. Be the dad who leads differently

You might not have had a father who taught you this stuff. You might have grown up in a house where feelings weren’t talked about, or where “protection” meant intimidation and fear.

That stops with you.

You can be the dad who talks about safety without shame. Who models respect, boundaries, and care. Who teaches your kids that strength isn’t just about fists and fury, it’s about wisdom, leadership, and prevention.

Because the greatest protector is the one who builds a world where their kids never have to recover from the things they went through.

When we know better, we can do better! 

Please share this blog with your loved ones and start having conversations with the men in your lives!

Kristi x